THIS MONTH IN THE KOREAN ADOPTEE COMMUNITY - FEB. 2025
By Jon Oaks
Love, Identity, and History: Korean Adoptees Navigating Valentine’s Day and Black History Month
February brings a mix of celebrations—Valentine’s Day, centered around love and relationships, and Black History Month, which honors the resilience, achievements, and contributions of Black individuals. For Korean adoptees, these occasions can evoke complex emotions, whether through navigating relationships or exploring identity in a society that often overlooks adoptee experiences.
Valentine’s Day: Love and Identity
For many Korean adoptees, Valentine’s Day can stir deeper questions about attachment, relationships, and self-worth. Adoption inherently involves themes of separation and reunion, which can influence how adoptees approach love, intimacy, and vulnerability.
Some adoptees may struggle with feelings of abandonment or rejection that surface around this time, while others feel a deep appreciation for the relationships they’ve built. The holiday’s emphasis on romantic love can also amplify insecurities about desirability, cultural identity, or societal expectations—especially for transracial adoptees navigating stereotypes about Asian identity.
One way to approach Valentine’s Day with empowerment is by giving yourself space to acknowledge your emotions. If adoption-related feelings arise, allow yourself to sit with them, reflect, and reach out to supportive adoptee communities.
A great way to foster connection is by attending the Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network (KAAN) Conference from June 20-22, 2025, in Atlanta, GA (KAAN Conference). It’s an opportunity to engage with a community that understands your experiences. Sometimes, knowing you’re not alone can be deeply healing.
Black History Month: Intersectionality and Solidarity
While Black History Month focuses on the history and achievements of Black individuals, it also highlights broader themes of racial identity, social justice, and the fight for equity. Many transracial adoptees have navigated racial identity in environments where they were the only person of color in their families or communities.
For Korean adoptees raised in predominantly white spaces, Black History Month is a reminder of the importance of understanding race, systemic inequality, and the lived experiences of people of color in the U.S. The civil rights movements led by Black activists have paved the way for greater awareness of racial justice and representation—something that benefits all adoptees of color.
This month, we highlight four individuals whose stories reflect resilience, activism, and breaking barriers:
Yuri Kochiyama (1921–2014)
Though not an adoptee, Yuri Kochiyama was a Japanese-American civil rights activist who worked alongside Malcolm X and was a strong advocate for Asian-American and Black solidarity. She championed Asian-American rights, sought justice for political prisoners, and recognized the intersectionality between struggles for racial equity. Her activism serves as an inspiration for adoptees navigating complex racial identities and seeking community empowerment.
Insooni (Kim In-soon)
Born to a South Korean mother and an African American father, Insooni is one of South Korea’s most celebrated R&B singers. Despite facing racism in a homogenous society, she built an extraordinary career and became a respected cultural figure. Her journey resonates with many mixed-race adoptees who experience feelings of not fully belonging in either culture.
Michelle Lee
A singer known for her powerful voice and advocacy against racism in South Korea, Michelle Lee has openly shared her experiences of discrimination as a Black-Korean woman. She uses her platform to address issues of identity and inclusion, inspiring others to embrace their heritage with pride.
Estelle Cooke-Sampson
A Black-Korean adoptee featured in the documentary Geographies of Kinship, Estelle’s story highlights the ongoing search for identity that many adoptees experience. Her journey sheds light on the realities of growing up without knowledge of one’s origins and the importance of community in navigating those challenges.
Honoring the Past and Embracing the Complexity of February
At first glance, Valentine’s Day and Black History Month may seem unrelated, but for Korean adoptees, both occasions offer opportunities for reflection on love, identity, and belonging. Whether navigating personal relationships or engaging in broader conversations about race and history, February serves as a reminder that adoptees hold complex, multifaceted identities.
This month, take time to honor the stories of Black-Korean adoptees and reflect on the ways in which identity, culture, and history shape our journeys. Korean adoptees continue to carve out spaces where their voices are heard, their histories are acknowledged, and their identities are embraced.
